Brainy & Pink
by ReySolo
Summary: What else? Brain comes up with yet another crazy scheme to take over the world! This time: through the garment business!


SUMMARY: What else? Brain comes up with yet another crazy scheme to take over the world! This time: through the garment business!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pinky or Brain (they belong to Warner Brothers) or any of the brand name products mentioned within this story (not that I'd want to own any of *those*). Although some mice of my own might be nice. I'm sure my cats would *really* love them... :)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, there is a moral to this story. I'm not gonna say it, since I might be insulting somebody or another, but I'm sure you can find it yourselves.

Brainy & Pink  
by ReySolo

*****  
  
They're Pinky and the Brain  
Yes, Pinky and the Brain  
One is a genius  
The other's insane  
They're laboratory mice  
Their genes have been spliced  
They're Dinky  
They're Pinky and the   
Brain Brain Brain Brain  
Brain Brain Brain Brain  
Brain  
  
Before each night is done  
Their plan will be unfurled  
By the dawning of the sun  
They'll take over the world  
  
They're Pinky and the Brain  
Yes, Pinky and the Brain  
Their twilight campaign  
Is easy to explain  
To prove their mousey worth  
They'll overthrow the Earth  
They're Dinky  
They're Pinky and the   
Brain Brain Brain Brain  
Brain Brain Brain Brain  
Brain  
  
*****  
  
All was quiet at the lab. Well, all *had* been quiet, until the school bus pulled up outside. The moment it stopped, dozens of noisy seventh-graders piled out, seeming to all ooze out of the bus within moments. Supposedly there for a school field trip to observe real scientists working, the students saw it as a day of school doing nothing. The three teachers tried in vain to organize their students into the pre-arranged groups, but were nearly trampled by the kids racing into the building.  
  
As the commotion was building up outside, a little white lab mouse stopped running around the wheel in his cage to glance toward the door, a puzzled look on his face. Hey, Brain, what do you suppose that noise is?  
  
His cagemate, a shorter mouse with an enormous head turned away from the miniature chalkboard he was writing on. The board had letters and numbers like cos 7.6 and and other such nonsense. What noi-- Brain was just beginning to ask when the door burst open and all the twelve- and thirteen-year-olds rushed into the room.  
  
With a sigh, Brain hid his chalkboard so the intrusive kids wouldn't see it while wreaking havoc over the small lab. Meanwhile, Pinky was staring fascinated at all the kids.   
  
Pinky, it's merely a plenitude of juveniles seeking to disassemble as much of Acme Labs as possible before being thrown out.  
  
But there's so many of them, Brain... And look, they all have the same names! Tommy, Nike... But I've never heard the names Adidas or Abercrombie before...  
  
Those aren't names, you ignoramus, they're brands of clothing. Pinky's absurdity never ceased to amaze Brain.  
  
Ohhhhhhhhhh... But, if they all buy the same clothes, wouldn't that mean the makers would get lots and lots of money?  
  
No, Pi-- Brain suddenly stopped his automatic response when his imbecilic friend proposed something, and froze, his eyes increasing exponentially in size. Yyyyes... Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?  
  
I think so, Brain, but if Darth Vader was Luke's father, then why couldn't they get a family discount?  
  
Brain wondered why, with the multitude of knowledge stored within his cranium, he repetitively asked Pinky that question only to get a reply that contained about as much logic as a world without Soya beans. No, Pinky. All I need to do is take over a clothing company, make my own cool' brand for which people of all ages will pay exorbitant prices. Then, as I will be in possession of all the money in the world, as well as full control over the garment business, everyone will choose me as the new world leader.  
  
Egad! Great idea, Brain! Oh, wait, no... How will you get into a clothing company?  
  
Simple, Pinky. We will go in as the janitorial staff, and acquire access to the machinery at night. We will then take total control of the facility. As he was speaking, Brain noted the scientists shooing all the kids outside. Just as I expected. Come, Pinky, we have a garment industry to take over! He expediently used his tail to open the cage, and the two mice slipped out of the building.  
  
***  
  
A single security guard sat at the entrance to Abercrombie & Fitch Headquarters. Pinky being approximately ten centimeters in height and Brain even shorter, the two simply sneaked past the desk and out of sight of the guard. Fully clothed in cleaning-crew attire, buckets, and mops, the two mice made their way toward the management offices. They were almost there when someone stepped into their path.  
  
Hey, little fellas, you the new janitors? A young man with spiky black hair and a plain white ABERCROMBIE shirt leaned down to look them in the face.  
  
Actually, we're two laboratory mice contriving to take over the world. Brain replied matter-of-factly.  
  
The young man just laughed. Hey, and you've got a bogus sense of humor! Those old guys were totally dull, man. I'm Jake, the manager's son. I'll go tell him you're here.  
  
Brain quickly objected, No, that won't be necessary. We can find our way there ourselves.  
  
Jake just smiled. Whatever. I'm outta here, then. See ya! The young man stood up and walked away down the hall.  
  
Bye, Jake! Pinky shouted and waved fervently.  
  
Stop that, Pinky, Brain admonished.  
  
Pinky was still staring after the boy. But he was so nice, Brain.  
  
Never mind him, Pinky. We have a mission to accomplish. The two continued on toward the offices.  
  
***  
  
As dawn broke, a multitude of reds, oranges, and pinks spread through the sky, and a sign was lightened by the rays of sunlight. The words ABERCROMBIE & FITCH were replaced by the new name of the company: BRAINY & PINK.  
  
At department stores all over the country, new Brainy shirts, jackets, and all sorts of clothing were in demand, with waiting lists miles long. Only a few days later, Brainy & Pink stores were popping up in shopping malls throughout the world. The garment industry was nearly monopolized by the new company.  
  
A knock sounded at the door to Brain's new office. He stuffed the paper showing his total money raised into his large desk. Yes, what do you want?  
  
Pinky's voice drifted into the room. Narf! It's Jake and me, Brain!  
  
Brain sighed. Come in.  
  
The young man entered, carrying Pinky on his shoulder. Hey, man, you put my dad and a lot of other people out of their jobs, but you gave them jobs at your company, so I'm cool with that. I do have a question, though. How did you get so many people to pay so much in so little time?  
  
It's quite simple, really. I placed an ad in several large newspapers about the new fad' that everyone who wants to be truly in' must buy several articles of this clothing.  
  
Oh. Cool. I'd better go get me a few shirts! Let's go, Pinky. Jake raced out of the office.  
  
***  
  
Brain stood in anticipation in front of the gathered crowd, all wearing shirts reading BRAINY & PINK or just BRAINY or even B&P. It was almost time to give his prepared speech accepting rule over the world. Of course, since the company *was* Brainy & Pink, he needed his co-owner to be present as well.  
  
At last he saw Pinky coming toward him, along with his friend. What they were wearing made him start. Once they reached him he covered the microphone and whispered angrily, Pinky, what are you wearing?!  
  
Brainy & Pink shirts, Pinky replied. See, Jake and me painted the words on ourselves. Poit! Pinky gestured proudly at the plain white T-shirts with the word BRAINY scrawled sloppily on them.  
  
We figured since we couldn't afford to buy the real ones, we could still be cool and spend only a few bucks on cheap Target shirts. Like Jake and Pinky were wearing matching idiot grins.  
  
No! You fools, you'll ruin everything! You can't let my followers see--!  
  
An obstreperous uproar was beginning in the crowd. Innumerable voices shouting, Hey, look at them! Their shirts have words *painted* on! They didn't pay as much as we did! I'm returning mine and making some of those! Yeah, we don't need to go broke on cheap clothes! His former followers scattered apart, racing to return their overpriced clothing and make cheap imitations.  
  
Brain shouted after them, Wait! Only *official* Brainy & Pink is cool! You can't just make your own! Stop! But it was useless; the plan was destroyed.  
  
He turned to Pinky, glaring at him and Jake. They just looked back at him with abashed looks on their faces. Brain sighed, and began walking away. Come, or I'm going to have to hurt you, Pinky. We have to get back to Acme Labs to prepare for tomorrow night.  
  
Pinky waved goodbye to Jake and bounded after Brain. Why, what are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?  
  
Feeling slightly better knowing he would soon be back on track, he replied, Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!  
  
*****  
  
They're Brainy,  
They're Brainy and   
Pink Pink Pink Pink  
Pink Pink Pink Pink  
Pink!  
  
*****

Please, let me know what you think!! :)

Send feedback to: ReySolo@aol.com


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